How Then Are We Supposed to Pray?
Sermon on the Mount Series
Last week in Sunday School, one of my members mentioned that when he prays he asks one time and then doesn’t mention it again. His rational was that God was going to do what He was going to do anyways. He had made his request, and it seemed like a waste of time to keep asking for the same thing over and over and over again. I agreed to a certain extent. I believe God wants us to share with Him our wants and desires as well as our thoughts and feelings. (Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”) I’m sure God wants a deeper relationship with us than Him just being our celestial Santa Claus. Imagine if you had a friend that only talked to you when they wanted something. And to top it off, they asked you for that thing over and over and over again. Chances are you probably wouldn’t want to be around that guy or girl anymore. If you saw them coming you would jump into the bushes or start making out with a complete stranger or something. I did that once. It turned out to be a cactus. I don’t recommend it. It might even get to the point that even if you had the ability to give them everything they asked for, you wouldn’t do it simply because they were such a lousy friend who was just using you to get what they wanted.
Now stop and think. When you pray do you always ask for something? Do you ever tell God something about what’s going on? Do you ever quietly wait for Him to respond? Or do you simply pull into the drive-thru, throw your request into the tube, and drive off like you’re at a pharmacy? What would God feel about your relationship? If the roles were reversed would you delight in blessing someone like you? I’ve heard of people who set out to go a whole month without asking God for anything. Their prayer life became telling God about what was going on their life and worshiping Him. Remember asking God to bless others is still asking God to do something.
My response to the young man in my Sunday School class was, “Yes, but…” and then I shared how I was coming home from a trip knowing I had to deal with an issue when I got there. My stomach was rolling in anticipation of confrontation. So I prayed a simple prayer, “God you know my heart. You know I don’t want to screw this up. You know I don’t want to intentionally cause a problem, but something needs to be done. Give me the words to say, and give me your peace.” Immediately the anxiety of the situation went away. A few miles down the road, the anxiety built back up and I said a similar prayer. The anxiety again subsided. This went on for hours. I repeatedly made the same prayer over and over again, and yet God gave me the peace I sought.
So how are we to pray? We studied earlier in the Sermon on the Mount Series where Jesus said in Matthew 6:7, “And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions like the heathens do. For they think they will be heard for their many words.” So obviously volume and repetition is not the answer. He went on to teach his listeners what we know today as “The Lord’s Prayer.” But even in my Bible, the sub-title to that section is “A Model Prayer,” in other words, something to base your prayers on—a skeleton to flesh out your own prayers. We could completely miss Jesus’ point and recite “The Lord’s Prayer” word for word a hundred times a day. All that it would do for us is be a repetitious, vain prayer that would in all likelihood go unanswered.
Let’s look at some common prayers of today. The Catholics have what is called a Rosary. Perhaps you have seen the man who walks up and down Dogwood and Stewart St .
The rosary is a series of beads on a string, very similar to but not a necklace, and shouldn’t be worn around the neck or hung from a rear view mirror. I’m not now, or have ever been a Catholic, but I know that is a “no-no.” (See attachment for proper prayers for the Rosary) To me, this screams vain repetition something Jesus himself spoke against. It amazes me how Jesus spoke against the Pharisees for their vain, repetitious prayers, and their funny hats and robes. Here we are 2,000 years later and the leaders of some of the largest denominations wear funny hats and robes.
But the Catholic Church doesn’t have a monopoly on vain, repetitious prayers. A few years ago a Pastor named Bruce Wilkinson was reading through 1 Chronicles. For those of you who have read through 1 Chronicles, you can agree that parts of it can be extremely dry, particularly the parts of the genealogies. Chapter after chapter, verse after verse of John begot Sam. Sam begot David. David begot Michael. After a while your eye starts to twitch, and you begin to question your sanity for attempting to read through the Bible. Eventually you get to 1 Chronicles 4:9 where you find this little oasis, “There was a man named Jabez who was more honorable than any of his brothers. His mother named him Jabez because his birth had been so painful. 10 He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!” And God granted him his request.” And then you go back to Tom begot Jerry. Heckle begot Jekyll. Chilly begot Willy. Verses 9 and 10 were almost like a commercial in the midst of a boring documentary. So Wilkinson wrote a book about his findings. The main point of his book was that this was the type of prayer that God will answer. He made note that the prayer wasn’t a magic spell, but like the Lord’s Prayer it was simply a model to flesh out our own prayers. However, his book, The Prayer of Jabez sold six quadrillion copies, and then all of the other merchandise and books came out: hats, shirts, calendars, devotionals, pens, bracelets, key chains. Wilkinson became an overnight Christian media sensation. This simple two verse prayer became a mantra for millions of Christians wanting to be blessed by God, without care for the relationship behind that blessing.
Then there is this prayer. It’s not famous but it is popular. Have you ever heard somebody pray and throw “God,” “Lord,” “Lord Jesus” and other names in there as if they were commas or other punctuation points? “Oh God, Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the blessing you’ve given us, Lord Jesus. You are, Oh God, so amazing, Lord Jesus. Father, please help, Lord Jesus, the Buckeyes, Oh God, to have a winning season, Oh Lord.” Imagine talking to your friends like that. “Hey Cody, friend Cody, matchless and wonderful Cody, did you watch, Oh Cody, the baseball game the other day, Cody, son of Gary and Karen? It was, Cody, the best, magnificent Cody, game I’ve ever seen, oh Cody.” Aside from breaking one of the Ten Commandments for using the Lord’s name in vain, it is extremely annoying to listen to, and most likely hinders our relationship with God. I know for a fact it would hinder my relationship with Cody if I talked to him like that. There was a man at camp who prayed like this. It went on for several minutes. I became distracted from what he was saying to how he was saying it. I also made a mental note not to ask him to pray before my meals.
So how should we pray? Short prayers? Longs prayers? New prayers every time? I pray almost the same prayer over my food everyday? Is that wrong? Yeah, because it has become just another thing I say—words without meaning. Like a recorded message. Imagine if your loved ones recorded a message that said “I love you,” then simply pressed play for you as they went about their daily lives. It wouldn’t mean as much to you as if they would stop what they’re doing, take a moment, and tell you what you mean to them.
Today’s passage will shed some light on the subject of how we are supposed to pray. Matthew 7:7-12, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”
Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking. If it is important to you, ask God. I’m pretty sure Jesus wasn’t referring to a new Bentley, but down the road when it comes time for you to find a suitable spouse and there doesn’t seem to be one on the horizon, ask, and keep asking. If you need a job, ask and keep asking. Do you think He doesn’t know that you’re broke? These are prayers God wants to answer, but what’s most important to Him is the relationship between you and Him. Do you trust Him? Or are you still banking on yourself? There is a military term called FPF—Final Protective Fire. Imagine you are in a position but are surrounded by the enemy. You can hold them off for a little bit with the little remaining rounds you have left, but the enemy knows all it has to do is wait until you are out of ammunition and then storm you. You would be basically defenseless. That FPF is a little bit of a reserve to hold back that storm when it happens. At some point you have to fire off your last rounds and then trust God. Do you trust God that He will give you what’s best for you or are you still holding onto some of that FPF? Maybe the best thing for you right now is to be single rather than be in a bad relationship that will take your focus off of Him. Maybe the best thing for you is to be unemployed rather than take a job that might make you compromise your values.
Jesus said, “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” We have to trust that God has what’s best in mind for us. I admit that when I was younger and didn’t have the faith in God I have now I was afraid that God would have me marry some Christian woman I wasn’t attracted to. It was a lack of faith that God wouldn’t give me what was best for me, that what was best for me would be something I hated, or even that he wouldn’t fulfill the promise he made in Psalm 37:4, “If you delight in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart.”
So how can we apply this information? 1) We need to be aware, (not beware) our prayers. Are they selfish? Are they short term? Are they one sided conversations? Are they repetitious? Do I use God’s name, or title, 30 times in a 60 word prayer? 2) Trust that God has what’s best in mind for our lives. Rebekah and I wish that we would have dated all the way through HS and College. That way we could have experienced more memorable moments together, but that wasn’t God’s plan and we trust that it was in our best interests. 3) Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Are you delighting in the Lord? What exactly does that mean? Do you spend time with God? Is that time boring or is it awesome? Do you do what God asks of you? If you do, is it like pulling teeth for you? I delight in the Lord, and I trust that God will give me, not only what I need, but what I want.
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